One of the many, many sucky things about a break-up is trying to both hide the evidence of the relationship while it’s still painful but keep it for nostalgia’s sake because there WAS a time that this was an important moment of your life and you want to remember everything about your life.
Today, it was the Facebook cleanse. Hide the evidence. Stay friends with people but hide them so their posts don’t show up in your news feed. Change the album covers. For example, my “Prom 2009″ album. I changed the album cover. But I spent a long time looking at that picture of us, dancing, looking at each other and smiling. The honeymoon phase of the relationship in full swing. I mean, we were young. I was 18, he was 17. We’d been together for about…a month?
I look at that picture and think, we were babies.
How could I expect that to last? High school relationships hardly ever do. It didn’t matter that it was a college relationship too, as we were together for all of both of our undergrad years. When we first started dating, we were BABIES. We were young. We didn’t have any life experience. We weren’t developed into the people we were meant to be yet.
I mean, I’m sure I’m still not the person I’m meant to be. But I’m definitely not the same person I was in high school. Neither is he. The people in that picture are not the same two people you see today.
We were falling out of love for a long time. He recognized it; I didn’t. I know it now. I know we are completely different people who weren’t meant to be together forever. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. For the most part, I’m doing really well. But some days are hard. I expect that’s normal after a 5-year relationship.
So for now, I focus on me. New Kaley has a lot to look forward to, and she can’t wait to see where life takes her.