Why I Don’t Think Opposites Attract

Today, I heard the old adage “opposites attract,” and for some reason, I can’t stop thinking about it.

Probably, mostly, because I believe that opposites don’t attract.

Let me clarify. It’s not that they don’t attract. It’s just that the attraction can’t last. Specifically on an introvert/extrovert level.

I am awkward. And I’m shy. And I would rather spend time at home with my dog than do pretty much else. When I’m hanging out with friends, I’d much rather be at their place or mine watching TV or playing games than going out and doing something in public. People are not my thing.

So that’s why I’m thinking opposites don’t really attract. I could not date an extrovert who likes going out and hanging out with people all the time. (I actually have done that, so we see how that worked out – it didn’t)

It doesn’t work! I’m not comfortable going out all the time. And I’m guessing extroverts can’t handle staying in all the time. So what happens? You either start resenting each other for being the way you are, or you spend a lot of time apart. Probably a little bit of both. Neither of which make for a healthy relationship.

So how do you find a successful relationship? Look for someone similar to you.

Letting go

For some reason, I feel like I get more insightful at night.

Today, I was cleaning. And during said major cleaning overhaul, I found two letters from an ex. Both were from quite long ago. One was from when I was a freshman in college, and the other was definitely from a few years ago but I couldn’t give you an exact timestamp on it.  I’m gonna guess about 3 years… maybe 4.

As I sat and read these letters, just because I was curious as to what was in them, I was amazed at how things can completely change.

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The I-want-to-be-with-you-forevers. The I’ll-always-love-yous (Sing it, Whitney). The I-can’t-wait-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-yous.

Looking back on it now, I just feel like these things are weird to say. Promises you’re not sure that you can keep.

I mean, I want to believe you can say these things and mean them. I want to think that in my next relationship, whenever that may be, I’ll get to the point where I feel in love and will make these promises. I want to believe in them. And I do believe that at one point, we all get to that place. Maybe I shouldn’t think too heavily about a letter someone wrote when he was 18. We’re all a little goofy at that age.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, I threw these letters away. I’m in a really good place emotionally now, and I don’t need them anymore.

With this post as the final thought, I am letting the rest of the past go.

Broke.

Think Kit, Day 30:

“What one word sums up the past year? Now: unpack, unfold, and uncover it. What does it represent? What events float to the top when you think about your word? And, okay, if you can’t limit yourself to a single word…use a (select) few.”

What one word describes how I feel this year? “Broke.”

Since I started living by myself in July, I have not been able to save money. I’ve actually lost money that I had saved.

I get paid, and then I pay rent. And I have $175.55 to live off of for the next two weeks. Except for the part where it’s not like rent is the ONLY bill I have due in a two-week period. No, I usually have my Kohl’s charge, credit card, and electric due in the same two weeks.

So, that number gets a lot closer to $0. Actually, it pretty much is $0.

But obviously, I have to buy groceries and gas within those two weeks.

So I have to use my credit cards.

Do you see why I can never actually pay off my credit cards?

I think it’s absolutely ridiculous when someone working full-time has to work more than one job because their job won’t support them, but honestly, I’ll probably be getting a second job soon. Because although I have already been doing freelance work, it’s not regular, so therefore it’s not reliable. And I can’t live paycheck to prayer anymore. It’s way too freakin’ stressful.

Best Of 2014

Instead of using Think Kit’s prompt for Day 21, mostly because the only thing I can think of that really shocked me is very inappropriate for this blog, I’m using a lifeline.

“Everyone’s a critic! Share your yearly “Best Of” list – it could be movies or music, moments in time…anything you can rank!”

So here we go.

Best Album: Taylor Swift’s “1989”

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Best Book: “Isla and the Happily Ever After” by Stephanie Perkins

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Best Movie: “The Fault in Our Stars.” This one was harder, because “Mockingjay” also came out this year, and I’ve seen Mockingjay more times, but I can’t bring myself to watch TFIOS again because….tears.

1-29-Official-“The-Fault-in-Our-Stars”-Movie-Trailer

Best TV episode: The winter finale of “How To Get Away With Murder.” Two words: “Don’t be.” *shivers*

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Can a guy and girl really be just friends?

Think Kit, Day 20:

“It’s true, we like you a lot – but let’s be noncommittal for now. It’s okay to be unsure! What are you on the fence about? Dig into the meat of both sides. Is it a big deal? A minor quibble? Are you leaning one way…or is the extended forecast just one big gray area? Yes – we’re telling you not to make up your mind!”

I used to totally know this. Can a guy and girl just be friends? Yes. But lately, I’m not so sure.

I should clarify that I mean when both parties are single. I have guy friends for whom I have absolutely zero romantic feelings, and I know that they have zero romantic feelings for me. These guys are in committed relationships.

I should also clarify that I do believe the relationship can be strictly a friendly relationship.

What I’m more uncertain of is: Can a single guy and a single girl be friends with neither of them having feelings for the other?

I have a guy friend for whom I do not have romantic feelings. We’ve been friends for a long, long time. And he used to have a crush on me. But that was, as I said, a long time ago. So I thought we had moved on from this.

After I became single again, we started talking a lot more. I still consider him just a friend, so the sudden increase in talking was–well, not necessarily unusual, but I did think the timing was suspect.

And all of a sudden, he hardly talks to me anymore again. Unless he is drinking. And I can’t help but notice that, again, the timing is suspect.

So, that’s it. I’m not sure whether a single, straight man and a single, straight woman can be friends with 0% romantic feelings on both sides.

Soundtrack of the Year

Think Kit, Day 19. This one is EASY:

“Strike up the band – what was the soundtrack to your year? Was it the music you listened to the most? A certain song that kept reappearing, or worse…that you couldn’t get away from? Or maybe it wasn’t music at all – maybe a podcast, voice, performance, or significant sound played over-and-over. Whatever you heard: we’re all ears!”

I bet if you know me and you’re reading this, you know what’s coming next.

The soundtrack to my year?

“1989” by Taylor Swift.

I don’t care that “1989” didn’t come out until the end of October, meaning I’ve listened to it for less than two months of the year. It has to be the album that I listened to the most.

Taylor Swift’s music makes me feel free. Happy. Strong. Confident. Beautiful. It’s weird that one album can do that. But the music is fun and happy, and Taylor Swift is one of the most incredible people on the planet.

I most often jam to “Blank Space,” “Style,” “All You Had to Do Was Stay,” “Shake It Off,” “Bad Blood,” “How You Get the Girl,” “Clean,” “Wonderland,” “New Romantics” … OK, apparently I jam to almost all of them. OK, I jam to all of them, but these ones are especially my favorites.

Besides the music being amazing, it’s also been very fitting to be an actual soundtrack to my life. Getting over a break-up? “Clean.” Starting to date again? “Blank Space.” Living the single life? “New Romantics.” Pissed off at someone? “Bad Blood.” Just want to have fun? “Shake It Off.”

Taylor Swift is perfect.

Since I already posted the music video for Blank Space on my post about what I’m looking forward to in 2015, I’ll let you all enjoy “Shake It Off” now.

Can I have this technological advance, please?

FINALLY CAUGHT UP.

Think Kit, Day 18. I’m using a LIfeline today because, well, I can:

“What one technology do you hope becomes a reality in 2015? Is it helpful? Revolutionary? Or just plain cool?”

So I saw this post earlier that was the 29 Internet Philosophers Who Will Rip A Hole In Your Mind, and I thought No. 8 was genius.

enhanced-buzz-30163-1418684440-28Netflix doubling as a dating site. Showing you local singles who also binge watched the same shows as you. How genius is that?

I mean, I’m not sure what kind of men I’d get with my watching 8 hours straight of Gilmore Girls on the reg, but… sometimes I watch other things. Like, I plan to watch the third season of American Horror Story soon. Guys watch that too, right?

I am totally into finding a guy through our mutual love of TV.

Let’s make it happen, Netflix.