Think Kit, Day 30:

“What one word sums up the past year? Now: unpack, unfold, and uncover it. What does it represent? What events float to the top when you think about your word? And, okay, if you can’t limit yourself to a single word…use a (select) few.”

What one word describes how I feel this year? “Broke.”

Since I started living by myself in July, I have not been able to save money. I’ve actually lost money that I had saved.

I get paid, and then I pay rent. And I have $175.55 to live off of for the next two weeks. Except for the part where it’s not like rent is the ONLY bill I have due in a two-week period. No, I usually have my Kohl’s charge, credit card, and electric due in the same two weeks.

So, that number gets a lot closer to $0. Actually, it pretty much is $0.

But obviously, I have to buy groceries and gas within those two weeks.

So I have to use my credit cards.

Do you see why I can never actually pay off my credit cards?

I think it’s absolutely ridiculous when someone working full-time has to work more than one job because their job won’t support them, but honestly, I’ll probably be getting a second job soon. Because although I have already been doing freelance work, it’s not regular, so therefore it’s not reliable. And I can’t live paycheck to prayer anymore. It’s way too freakin’ stressful.


Best Of 2014

Instead of using Think Kit’s prompt for Day 21, mostly because the only thing I can think of that really shocked me is very inappropriate for this blog, I’m using a lifeline.

“Everyone’s a critic! Share your yearly “Best Of” list – it could be movies or music, moments in time…anything you can rank!”

So here we go.

Best Album: Taylor Swift’s “1989”


Best Book: “Isla and the Happily Ever After” by Stephanie Perkins


Best Movie: “The Fault in Our Stars.” This one was harder, because “Mockingjay” also came out this year, and I’ve seen Mockingjay more times, but I can’t bring myself to watch TFIOS again because….tears.


Best TV episode: The winter finale of “How To Get Away With Murder.” Two words: “Don’t be.” *shivers*


Can a guy and girl really be just friends?

Think Kit, Day 20:

“It’s true, we like you a lot – but let’s be noncommittal for now. It’s okay to be unsure! What are you on the fence about? Dig into the meat of both sides. Is it a big deal? A minor quibble? Are you leaning one way…or is the extended forecast just one big gray area? Yes – we’re telling you not to make up your mind!”

I used to totally know this. Can a guy and girl just be friends? Yes. But lately, I’m not so sure.

I should clarify that I mean when both parties are single. I have guy friends for whom I have absolutely zero romantic feelings, and I know that they have zero romantic feelings for me. These guys are in committed relationships.

I should also clarify that I do believe the relationship can be strictly a friendly relationship.

What I’m more uncertain of is: Can a single guy and a single girl be friends with neither of them having feelings for the other?

I have a guy friend for whom I do not have romantic feelings. We’ve been friends for a long, long time. And he used to have a crush on me. But that was, as I said, a long time ago. So I thought we had moved on from this.

After I became single again, we started talking a lot more. I still consider him just a friend, so the sudden increase in talking was–well, not necessarily unusual, but I did think the timing was suspect.

And all of a sudden, he hardly talks to me anymore again. Unless he is drinking. And I can’t help but notice that, again, the timing is suspect.

So, that’s it. I’m not sure whether a single, straight man and a single, straight woman can be friends with 0% romantic feelings on both sides.

Soundtrack of the Year

Think Kit, Day 19. This one is EASY:

“Strike up the band – what was the soundtrack to your year? Was it the music you listened to the most? A certain song that kept reappearing, or worse…that you couldn’t get away from? Or maybe it wasn’t music at all – maybe a podcast, voice, performance, or significant sound played over-and-over. Whatever you heard: we’re all ears!”

I bet if you know me and you’re reading this, you know what’s coming next.

The soundtrack to my year?

“1989” by Taylor Swift.

I don’t care that “1989” didn’t come out until the end of October, meaning I’ve listened to it for less than two months of the year. It has to be the album that I listened to the most.

Taylor Swift’s music makes me feel free. Happy. Strong. Confident. Beautiful. It’s weird that one album can do that. But the music is fun and happy, and Taylor Swift is one of the most incredible people on the planet.

I most often jam to “Blank Space,” “Style,” “All You Had to Do Was Stay,” “Shake It Off,” “Bad Blood,” “How You Get the Girl,” “Clean,” “Wonderland,” “New Romantics” … OK, apparently I jam to almost all of them. OK, I jam to all of them, but these ones are especially my favorites.

Besides the music being amazing, it’s also been very fitting to be an actual soundtrack to my life. Getting over a break-up? “Clean.” Starting to date again? “Blank Space.” Living the single life? “New Romantics.” Pissed off at someone? “Bad Blood.” Just want to have fun? “Shake It Off.”

Taylor Swift is perfect.

Since I already posted the music video for Blank Space on my post about what I’m looking forward to in 2015, I’ll let you all enjoy “Shake It Off” now.

Can I have this technological advance, please?


Think Kit, Day 18. I’m using a LIfeline today because, well, I can:

“What one technology do you hope becomes a reality in 2015? Is it helpful? Revolutionary? Or just plain cool?”

So I saw this post earlier that was the 29 Internet Philosophers Who Will Rip A Hole In Your Mind, and I thought No. 8 was genius.

enhanced-buzz-30163-1418684440-28Netflix doubling as a dating site. Showing you local singles who also binge watched the same shows as you. How genius is that?

I mean, I’m not sure what kind of men I’d get with my watching 8 hours straight of Gilmore Girls on the reg, but… sometimes I watch other things. Like, I plan to watch the third season of American Horror Story soon. Guys watch that too, right?

I am totally into finding a guy through our mutual love of TV.

Let’s make it happen, Netflix.

Let’s Get Physical, Physical

Think Kit, Day 17:

“Time to go through your (actual) desktop, junk drawer, or coat pockets and share an artifact from your past. A half-torn ticket stub, once-washed receipt, coffee-stained map, anything in a frame: it’s all fair game. What springs to mind from your artifact? The smells, sights, and sounds? A specific feeling? Hold it in your hand, close your eyes, and go back in time to a moment.”

Hidden in the depths of my wallet is a ticket stub for the show Trail to Oregon.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t actually look for it, but I’m pretty sure it’s there. Either way, I wore my Trail to Oregon shirt today, so I have something in my apartment to take me back.

I went to Chicago by myself. It wasn’t the ideal situation, but my only friend who loves Team Starkid as much as I do was getting married in a month, so her schedule was crazy busy.

It was a Saturday. July 5. I was at my parents’ house that weekend, so I took the South Shore train into the city and the CTA to Stage 773. I remember being especially excited because this is the show with some of my absolute favorites from Starkid: Joey Richter, Lauren Lopez, and Jaime Lyn Beatty. It also starred two more people who I’ve quickly grown to love: Jeff Blim and Rachael Soglin. (Correy Dorris also starred.)

I think Trail to Oregon is the funniest show I’ve ever seen. It involves the audience. Every show, the characters had different names, chosen by the audience members.

When I went, their names were Dickweed (dad), Lilly Pad (mom), Dysentery (daughter), Chlamydia (son), and Master Roshi (Grandpa).

I can’t wait til it’s on YouTube (hopefully next month, maybe the month after) so I can harass you all with the links.

Extra, extra!

I’m almost caught up with my Think Kit posts…

Think Kit, Day 16:

“Take a moment to dip into the deep well of the past year’s 24-hour news cycle. What world event moved you this year? What story, series, or moment fascinated you? Made you scratch your head? Brought you to the edge of tears…or past the edge of your seat? Did an outside perspective change the way you felt, or make you take action? Share the headline(s) that resonated with you.”

There were so many headlines to dominate this category this year. From the racial/power issues surrounding the deaths of Mike Brown and Eric Garner to the terrorist regime smothering America’s freedoms by way of cancelled movies.

But I think the one that touched me most was the story of Brittany Maynard.

Brittany Maynard was 29 years old. She had terminal brain cancer. And she took her own life with physician-assisted suicide.

Thinking about her even now is making me teary-eyed. I hate cancer. I hate that it can take anyone — LITERALLY, ANYONE — away from us. It’s disgusting that someone who was only 29 years old was handed a death sentence from the disease.

I can’t imagine being in her shoes and making the decision that she did. How hopeless she must have felt. How judged she must have felt. People around the world telling her not to give up, not to kill herself, to fight as hard as she could.

But she was given a terminal diagnosis. At some point, there’s no more fighting the inevitable.

Still, it had to be a miserable decision. Knowing what day you were going to die. Knowing what day your family was going to lose you. Knowing you couldn’t do anything to stop it. Losing to the cancer, no matter what you did. At least this way she died (kind of) on her own terms, but the cancer still won. I’m sure she wouldn’t have chosen to die at 29 otherwise.

I can’t even imagine it.

RIP Brittany. I hope you’re smiling down on everyone from Heaven, now.