Can a guy and girl really be just friends?

Think Kit, Day 20:

“It’s true, we like you a lot – but let’s be noncommittal for now. It’s okay to be unsure! What are you on the fence about? Dig into the meat of both sides. Is it a big deal? A minor quibble? Are you leaning one way…or is the extended forecast just one big gray area? Yes – we’re telling you not to make up your mind!”

I used to totally know this. Can a guy and girl just be friends? Yes. But lately, I’m not so sure.

I should clarify that I mean when both parties are single. I have guy friends for whom I have absolutely zero romantic feelings, and I know that they have zero romantic feelings for me. These guys are in committed relationships.

I should also clarify that I do believe the relationship can be strictly a friendly relationship.

What I’m more uncertain of is: Can a single guy and a single girl be friends with neither of them having feelings for the other?

I have a guy friend for whom I do not have romantic feelings. We’ve been friends for a long, long time. And he used to have a crush on me. But that was, as I said, a long time ago. So I thought we had moved on from this.

After I became single again, we started talking a lot more. I still consider him just a friend, so the sudden increase in talking was–well, not necessarily unusual, but I did think the timing was suspect.

And all of a sudden, he hardly talks to me anymore again. Unless he is drinking. And I can’t help but notice that, again, the timing is suspect.

So, that’s it. I’m not sure whether a single, straight man and a single, straight woman can be friends with 0% romantic feelings on both sides.


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